Dating Tips

Lighten Up
We worry too much about dating. We worry about everything from talking too much to whether our boy/girlfriend really likes us. If you worry too much or have little confidence in your dating skills, lighten up!1) Be kind to everyone. This will create success because everyone likes being around kind people.2) Be upbeat! No one likes to be around someone who is constantly negative.3) If someone likes you, expect them to treat you with respect and warmth. If they don´t, don´t waste your precious dating years on someone who is going to abuse you.Remember, people are attracted to people who calm, centered and happy. And if you act that way, you will begin to feel that way!

Cleanliness and Attire
The impression you leave on a date begins the moment you see each other. Even before you speak your first words, your date has made judgments based on what he/she sees. That is why your appearance, cleanliness and clothing are so important on a date. Making a misstep in these three categories can negate any other positive thing you do during the remainder of the date. It is better to ensure that you have showered and are appropriately dressed than to hurry to avoid being late. If you need to, make a phone call and delay...but look nice for your date. It shows you care.

A Flower On The Second Date?
Bring a flower or two on a second date. It will show your date that you have been looking forward to it.
1) A couple of casual flowers, such as carnations or daisies would be great!
2) Try to stay away from red roses till you have seen each other for awhile.
3)You can even give one flower with some leaves and baby's breath with a ribbon!

Don´t Rush A Relationship
When you like someone, it's often tempting to rush in and shower him or her with affection, gifts, phone calls and all your time and attention. Unfortunately, this extreme focus can be too much too soon and might scare away the person. Rein in your enthusiasm and try to let the relationship grown and develop on its own. Don't try to do everything; let your dating partner initiate some things as well. You'll find it's rather nice to be on the receiving end of some of that attention and affection, too.

Being Attentive
The simplest way to convey interest on a date is listening. Listening is incredibly important for any successful dating experience. Not only will you actually learn something about the person you are dating, they will feel both desired and interesting. Listening goes way beyond merely "looking interested." You have to be attentive to what your date is saying. You should ask questions, and occasionally chime in with your own anecdotes. This way you will seem both attentive and interesting.

Beyond Attraction
Attraction is very important in every dating relationship; in fact, most individuals say that attraction is the reason they sought out their dating partner for the first date. But once attraction has been established, other key factors come into play. Consider the following questions. Does this person talk openly with me? Can I share my thoughts with him/her? Does he/she care about what I am doing? Does this person respect me and my desires? Does this person push me to do things I am uncomfortable with? Remember, attraction is only one of many elements of a successful relationship. Make sure your relationship has more than just attraction to survive.

ConversationHere are a few dating tips for conversation. Start small. You can't come charging into a date with both conversational barrels blazing – heavy topics like life and politics should come later in the conversation. Begin by simply asking about her or his day. Listen to what your date has to say, and take turns directing the conversation. The point of the date is to get to know the other person; don't try to rush anything. If in-depth topics come up, good; if they don't, don't worry. Hopefully they'll surface during another date. Remember, remain true to your opinions -- don't browbeat the person, but don't agree for the sake of agreeing either.

Advanced Planning
Spontaneity is a wonderful thing, but not always when you have a date on the calendar. A nice evening usually requires some preparation. When you ask out a date, it is a good idea to make plans. For example, if you are going out to eat, make reservations. Discuss your plans with your date before hand so he/she can prepare as well. It is good to tell a date what time you will pick them up and what time you expect to have them home. Even if you have been dating someone for a long period of time, you should still take the time to plan ahead. It shows you care and you will have more fun because you put more thought and caring into the process.

Don´t Lead Me On
It's surprising how much damage can be done by people who are trying to be nice. If you are dating someone who you like as a friend, and you know that person has much stronger feelings about you, don't think that the 'nice' thing to do is to continue to date them without explanation. That would be leading the person on -- intentionally or unintentionally. Always let the person know the extent of your feelings. You are not being nice when you pretend; you will both be better off when you are honest. Their time will not be wasted, and their feelings will be honored.

Dating Resolutions
Most people start the new year with a list of resolutions. It's a nice way to start fresh, to start anew. As you begin a new relationship, consider making some dating resolutions so that your new relationship can have a fresh start, too. Some resolutions to consider include:

1) I will listen more than I talk.
2) I will be more positive.
3) If I criticize my partner, I will show an increase in love afterwards.
4) I will be more patient.
5) I will be loyal to my partner.

Sex Should Be LastIt's the million dollar question: when should a couple have sex? The answer is probably a bit different for every couple. But at the 2001 Smart Marriage conference, Dr. John VanEpp recommended the following sequence of events, which applies to all couples considering a serious relationship.

1. Know--you must know someone before you get too serious with them. You must know about their family, their habits, their values and their lifestyle.

2. Trust--When you start knowing someone, you begin to trust them more. Trust is something that should be earned and not easily given.

3. Rely--Once you know someone and you trust them, you can start relying on them.

4. Commit--Once we know, trust, and rely on someone, we can then make a stronger commitment to them. That is why the marriage commitment is so important.

5. Sex--Finally, sex. If you start off with sex, you have started in the wrong place. In order for a relationship to be healthy, you MUST know each other, you must trust each other, you must rely upon each other, and you must be committed to each other. It is at this point, and only at this point, that sex is wise and healthy.

A Few Do´s & Don´ts
DO NOT call and ask for a date for the same day.

DO plan interactive activities on a first date to get to know the person better. (Translation: no movies).

DO NOT be late for a date.

DO plan dates in different environments to see how your partner responds to a variety of situations.

DO NOT talk about yourself the whole night--find out more about your date.

DO kiss on the first date if the feeling moves you! Be spontaneous.

Do NOT forget to give a tip to your waiter if you go out to eat.

Origin of Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day Origin
There are varying opinions as to the origin of Valentine's Day. Some experts state that it originated from St. Valentine, a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on February 14, 269 A.D., the same day that had been devoted to love lotteries. Legend also says that St. Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer's daughter, who had become his friend, and signed it "From Your Valentine". Other aspects of the story say that Saint Valentine served as a priest at the temple during the reign of Emperor Claudius. Claudius then had Valentine jailed for defying him. In 496 A.D. Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honour St. Valentine.
Gradually, February 14 became the date for exchanging love messages and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers. The date was marked by sending poems and simple gifts such as flowers. There was often a social gathering or a ball.
In the United States, Miss Esther Howland is given credit for sending the first valentine cards. Commercial valentines were introduced in the 1800's and now the date is very commercialised. The town of Loveland, Colorado, does a large post office business around February 14. The spirit of good continues as valentines are sent out with sentimental verses and children exchange valentine cards at school.




The History of Saint Valentine's DayValentine's Day started in the time of the Roman Empire. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honour Juno. Juno was the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. The following day, February 15th, began the Feast of Lupercalia.
The lives of young boys and girls were strictly separate. However, one of the customs of the young people was name drawing. On the eve of the festival of Lupercalia the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl's name from the jar and would then be partners for the duration of the festival with the girl whom he chose. Sometimes the pairing of the children lasted an entire year, and often, they would fall in love and would later marry.
Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius the Cruel was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. He believed that the reason was that roman men did not want to leave their loves or families. As a result, Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. The good Saint Valentine was a priest at Rome in the days of Claudius II. He and Saint Marius aided the Christian martyrs and secretly married couples, and for this kind deed Saint Valentine was apprehended and dragged before the Prefect of Rome, who condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and to have his head cut off. He suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, about the year 270. At that time it was the custom in Rome, a very ancient custom, indeed, to celebrate in the month of February the Lupercalia, feasts in honour of a heathen god. On these occasions, amidst a variety of pagan ceremonies, the names of young women were placed in a box, from which they were drawn by the men as chance directed.
The pastors of the early Christian Church in Rome endeavoured to do away with the pagan element in these feasts by substituting the names of saints for those of maidens. And as the Lupercalia began about the middle of February, the pastors appear to have chosen Saint Valentine's Day for the celebration of this new feaSt. So it seems that the custom of young men choosing maidens for valentines, or saints as patrons for the coming year, arose in this way.

How to Enjoy Dating

Although dating is not rocket science, the experience sometimes feels like science fiction. Often, unrealistic expectations lead to needless dating drama. The following steps provide actual ways to make dating a pleasant experience for both of you.

Steps

1. Stop complaining. The good ones are not all taken. If they were, you would be sipping mai tais on a beach with your beloved right now.
   
2. Be less critical. Are super models breaking down your door begging you for attention? Are moguls whisking you away to Spain for tapas? No? Perhaps, it's time to accept a date simply because someone was lovely enough to ask you.
   
3. Use your manners. Please don't be rude. Saying please and thank you will make moms proud and endear you to your date. Promptly returning phone calls, whether or not you plan to accept an invitation, is appropriate and respectful. "Coy" is for the fish.
   
4. Step outside of your box. Insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting a different result. In other words, every time you tick off your list of "must haves and can't dos" you limit yourself to dating similar people. Has that worked for you so far?
   
5. Have fun! Even if you're 10 minutes into the worst date ever, a sense of humor goes a long way. Every hideous detail can be used later to regale your friends with laughter.
   

Tips

• Turning someone down with aplomb can happen if you remember three things, say thank you, be clear and use empathy.
  
• Turning a first date into a second date can happen if you remember the following: say thank you; treat someone they way you would like to be treated; and smile.
  

Warnings

• People can be creepy. Stepping out side of your box does not mean ignoring your gut. If a person or a situation doesn't feel right, trust your instinct and move on.
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Safely Meet a Guy Through Internet Dating
  
• How to Braid Hair for Style or Dating Purposes
  
• How to Act Like You Have Manners
  
• How to Have Fun on Super Bowl Sunday if You're a Girl
  
• How to Find the Ideal Mate
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Enjoy Dating. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

How to Get a Girlfriend

It is usually harder for guys to get a girlfriend than it is for girls to get a boyfriend. For all those who haven't been lucky in the love department, follow these steps to become someone.

Steps

1. Have good personal hygiene. You don't have to be Brad Pitt to get women. For the most part, just caring about how you look is enough. Wear new clothes that fit, and make sure that your body is clean (important).
   
2. Keep up a good posture, walk steadily and smile. Women do not like slouchers. Bad posture gives an air of lack of confidence. Smiling makes a guy more welcoming. A good walking style, (straight back, a hand in the pocket and taking well distanced strides) gives the impression of intelligence.
   
3. Adapt your appearance. Clean up for a high-class city girl. Dress down for the fun-loving motorbike chick.
   
4. Pick a location frequented by a significant number of girls where you feel fairly comfortable, perhaps a place that is conducive to a skill of yours: music, public speaking, or a private intimate conversation. Go out and have a good time. Guys who stare and walk around constantly looking for women immediately lower their value. Go out with your friends to a bar or club (or any public place, such as a bookstore, if you're more of the studious type) and start out by genuinely having a good time. The Internet does not count.
   
5. Be funny. If you're not naturally funny, don't try too hard around her. Pitch jokes to other people first and see how the jokes do with them. If you get no laughs there, just pray, because it's gonna be hard winning a girl without humor.#
   
6. "Plant some seeds". Flirt casually with waitresses. Make a passing comment and smile to a girl walking by. Toast a woman at the bar. Then go back to having a good time with your friends. In short time, you'll notice women slowly gravitating to you.
   
7. Qualify them. Don't be a jerk about it... but in a fun, playful way, make her prove her value to you. Something as simple as "Are you open-minded? Cool, because I like open-minded people."
   
8. Talk. Silence is uncomfortable. (On the other hand, women or men who do nothing but talk and never listen can be annoying.)
   
9. Connect with her. Find out what you have in common, and reward her with a smile and a story of your own if she tells you something unique about herself that you can relate to. WARNING: If she gives you something like "Oh, I like to go shopping", don't reward her for that. It's not unique. Instead, ask for more information and then connect with it.
   
10. Look and touch. Looking into a girl's eyes shows respect and interest. A firm handshake, a gentle pat on the back, a light touch of the hand and other subtle gestures allow the girl to feel connected with the guy.
    
11. Feel great. The feeling will radiate and affect the lady too.
    
12. Don't pretend to be someone you aren't, you may think you will win her over with like mindedness, but in the end she will find you out. Find a common interest, something you both like instead.
    
13. Show your interest. The best way to get out of the "friend trap" is to avoid it from the start. After finding common interests, make your intentions clear. "You know, I just realized it. Not only are you pretty, but you're fun to talk to."
    
14. Ask for her number. Give her your phone, tell her "Put your number in my phone and I'll call your phone so you'll have mine."
    
15. And once you establish that special, exclusive relationship of boyfriend and girlfriend do not--I repeat--do not stop the chivalry. Women are too special to only be waited on conditionally. The best way to show her you care is to continue to do the little things for her. You still need to open her car door, walk her home, kiss her goodnight. ALWAYS call her at night to bid her goodnight (it's best to wait a few hours after your date to do this, otherwise you'll seem a tad desperate.) Remember, show affection and respect and you'll get affection and respect.
    

Tips

• • Put on great-smelling aftershave or cologne. Research the best-selling ones at department stores. Unless, that is, the girls you like tend to be more on the outdoors or tomboy side of things. Some girls detest the scent of cologne. Do not marinate yourself with scents. Ladies complain of too much cologne, not too little. Do not exceed the maximum of three sprays on the upper body. Especially if you wear cologne every day. It's the general problem where a person gradually become accustomed to the cologne levels in their own scent that they need more and more of the stuff to be able to smell it themselves. You might not be able to smell it, but it's there.
    
  
  
• Guys do not need to look like Brad Pitt to find a girlfriend. Just keep hair, teeth and nails clean and neat. Ladies are quick to notice little details especially in the hands and faces.
  
• Be a good conversationalist. Read up on the latest in politics, entertainment, arts and even sports news. Women love a well-informed man. It makes him look well-educated and, therefore, richer in every aspect. Or just actually be well-educated.
  
• Do listen to the lady before responding. Women do not like to be cut off. They like to be considered and feel important.
  
• Do pay on the first drink, first date, first taxi cab ride, etc. It makes a gentleman out of a man.
  
• Very important - offer to walk or drive the lady home (or anywhere she wants to go). This makes the man seem sincerely concerned for her well-being.
  
• Don't say things you need to explain, this is the biggest mood killer.
  
• Be honest and forthright, but not aggressive. Girls appreciate you telling them how you feel.
  
• Don't annoy your girl by texting her every night. If she texts you, reply but unless you have something to say then don't text. It gets annoying when someone keeps texting you saying "what r u doing?", so if you absolutely can't go without saying something everyday, at least correct your grammar. At the very minimum, spell words correctly.
  
• Don't be afraid to display your affection in public.
  
• Dress to match, Black and Whites, Browns and Blues, even if they don't say anything, girls notice.
  
• Don't be afraid to touch her, if you find yourself flirting, lightly touch her arm or waist.
  
• Be a gentleman! Open car doors for her and remember the "ladies first" rule
  
• Be Yourself
  

Warnings

• Do not attempt to stalk the lady! Know when she means no!
  
• Do not ask out someone if you do not have somewhere to take her.
  
• Do not ask out someone too young because they are probably not ready.
  
• Grinning like the Cheshire cat is creepy. Unless she likes that, but hey it's your girl.
  
• Taking over the entire conversation is over-bearing and rude.
  
• Do not insist relentlessly on an offer when the lady has turned it down. It may be that she has no use for or does not feel good about the suggestion. Pushing her to accept will only increase the possibility of rejection.
  
• Avoid being a close talker. Nobody likes that.
  
• Don't make disgusting body jokes, or fart a lot. Girls hate that.
  
• Don't make her feel like a sex object instead of a human being, unless you're trying to get a loose girl. Less promiscuous girls are turned off by such patronization and bigotry.
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Attract the Opposite Sex
  
• How to Be Just Friends With a Member of the Opposite Sex
  
• How to Kiss a Girl
  
• How to Get a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend
  

Sources and Citations

• How To Get A Girlfriend Guide - Original source of some of the information on this page, shared with permission. See discussion page for details.
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Get a Girlfriend. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Prepare for a Date

How to Prepare for a Date

You've snagged a date with someone special, and now you've got the chance to make an impression. Preparing for a date can be nerve-wracking, but can be approached in a step-by-step manner that'll assure you make it to your date fully prepared. The rest is up to you.

Steps

1. Do some homework. In the days before a date, take time out to catch up with current events and hot topics. These are great conversation starters and you will be able to impress your date with your knowledge. Try to remember as much as you can about previous conversations together so you can follow up on them. Have a couple of funny stories or conversation pieces up your sleeve in case you need them.
   
2. Start looking and feeling good in advance. Set time aside for exercise in the days before the date, whether it's yoga or push ups. Eat well and get plenty of sleep.
   
3. Pick your clothes early. You should have several outfits laid out before the day of the date. This way you won't have any last minute panics when you realize you have a spaghetti stain down your favourite shirt. Plus, it will allow you to try on a few different looks on the day of the date and see which one fits your mood most comfortably at the time.
   
4. Clean up on the day of the date. Take a nice, long shower or bath. Ensure you have clean hair and nails. You should smell good, but not overpowering. Avoid heavy perfumes and aftershaves, especially if your date could be allergic. Ladies, go easy when applying make-up and aim for a natural but groomed look. If things go well he will eventually see you without make-up - and you will want him to recognize you at that point. Shortly before leaving for your date, floss and brush your teeth thoroughly.
   
5. Think positively. You're going out to enjoy yourself, after all. Don't start worrying about what disasters could happen, because that way they are far more likely to. If you are getting nervous, call a good friend, watch your favourite comedy show or listen to upbeat music. Loosen up. Focus on having fun and you inevitably will.
   
6. Be punctual. Give yourself plenty of time to get to your rendezvous. Keeping your date waiting will start things off on the wrong foot.
   

Tips

• Relax, be yourself, and be confident. More specifically, in addition to "being confident," you should "know your success" (success breeds confidence). Instead of "being yourself," try "being your best self".
  
• Sometimes even with the best preparation, your date might turn out awful. You may wish to have a "back out plan" in case this happens. Find a good friend you can call and then he/she can call you back in a few minutes so you can say you have some sort of crisis you need to attend to. You could also try being an honest person and say that you don't think it's working out, and that you need to leave early. Be prepared to contribute to the date and excuse yourself.
  
• Bring a condom. Whether you plan to use it or not, it is better to be prepared than to end up with responsibilities you didn't want. But, remember that you don't have to have sex.
  

Warnings

• Never put yourself in a compromising situation--most people are trustworthy, but "date rape" is unfortunately a real occurrence. Always have a first date in a public setting (restaurant, movie, club, mall, etc.) Only accept drinks served from a bottle or can opened by you or in front of you, or by a third party (like a bartender). Unfortunately, there are drugs ("date rape drugs") that can be added to ANY drink without any noticeable difference in taste. Some people use these drugs to put women (and sometimes men) in precarious situations. If you turn away from your drink, get into the habit of covering it with your hand, as it only takes a second to slip something into a drink. If you are suspicious, get a new drink.
  
• If you feel something's wrong, trust your instincts and politely but firmly end the date.
  
• Be sure to always have a cell phone and cash for a cab so that you never feel you have to rely on your date for a ride home.
  
• Always be careful about alcoholic intake.
  
• Don't Do Drugs
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Have a Great Conversation
  
• How to Be a Memorable First Date
  
• How to Impress Your Date
  
• How to Date on a Budget
  
• How to Maintain Romance
  
• How to Have a Healthy Relationship
  
• How to Tell Someone You Are Not Ready to Have Sex
  
• How to Know When Someone is Not Ready to Have Sex
  
• How to Ask a Waitress Out
  

Sources and Citations

• Prepare For A Date (video) - Original source of this article. Shared with permission.
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Prepare for a Date. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.